Guilt is probably the most common word that comes up when I chat to my clients about how they feel about their bodies, their relationship with food, the fitness journey they are on, the life they want……and 9/10 guilt will be a dominant word in the conversation. They are feeling this way 90% of the time yet wanting and expected different results in their lives. This just shows that guilt is a dream killer!If it’s not feeling guilty for wanting a better body, it’s the guilt felt when eating food, or when taking an hour out of their day to do a workout, go for a run, enjoy a good book, chat to a friend…..there is this non stop feeling of guilt for the things that give us pleasure in life.
Why is that?Isn’t life suppose to be an experience of pain AND pleasure? Yes, there will always be lows and challenges however there should be just as many highs & celebrations (if not more)!!!!
But here is the kicker….. On a scale of energy vibration and emotions (enlightenment being the highest vibration)……guilt is second from the bottom ….after shame!!!!You know what that means? The majority of women spend their lives in one of the lowest vibrating emotions YET expecting to feel better and grow and transform in their body, health, relationships and life.
It’s not going to happen!The more we spend our energy, thoughts and time on a specific emotion, the more our lives will become it. It is physically, mentally & spiritually impossible to grow to where you want to be if our emotions, the FEELINGS, are primarily concentrated on what we don’t want. The more guilty you feel in the things you do, more of the results you are guilty about will show up. It’s an energy transfer which transitions from emotion to reality.
The thing is, the modern world has also conditioned us to feeling guilty. Many times people use guilt as a manipulation to get what they want.😕“You out running again this week? Don’t you spend time with your kids?” 😕“DO you really think you should be eating that……there are a lot of carbs in there” 😕“You want to spend time with your friends, but you won’t spend time at home?” 😕“You happy with the way you look? Shouldn’t you be aiming higher?” 😕“You know, your way of eating is really inconvenient for many…..” 😕“You shouldn’t say no to someone offering food, sometimes you just have to suck it up”
Sound familiar (the last 2 I have experienced many times when I was competing and when I chose to go plant based)?I am very aware that there are circumstances where these questions are relevant and the individuals behaviour is unbalanced in relation to other aspects of their life…..however, playing the guilt card is not the answer. If anything it is guaranteed to make the situation worse. If you find yourself constantly feeling guilty for the things you want to do, the body you want to achieve, the body you want to accept, the food you want to eat (don’t want to eat), the people you want to see, the life you want to live……it’s time to start shifting your emotions to that tat you want! ➡️ If someone questions what you are eating…..instead of pushing your plate away or lashing back with a defensive answer rather say “I am very happy with my choice, is it making you feel uncomfortable?” ➡️ If your partner questions why you are dedicating an hour in your day to working out, running yoga, walking (fill in the blank), instead of starting an argument, reply with: “Would you like to join me?” OR “It’s your turn when I am back ;)”
We can’t control how others speak and behave towards us but we can choose how we react. And I promise you, by just shifting to a mental state of confidence and surety in your choices, and communicating this with clarity and calmness……that feeling of guilt will slowly start to fade away.🌟If you want to go sit on a mountain and look into the open horizon for 3 hours….DO IT! Don’t feel guilty for it! 🌟If you want to enjoy your favourite piece of cake every Wednesday with your best friend, DO IT, don’t feel guilty for it! 🌟Pleasure is important, the act of indulgence should be done in moderation and anything you choose to do, take 100% responsibility for it and the results that come from it! Here is the thing, we all have different goals and someone else’s goals might not make any sense to you (or vice versa) and that’s ok. Support them how you can, be open to learn and understand and if it creates too much conflict internally or between you and this person, maybe consider parting ways.
ConclusionDon’t feel guilty for the things that matter most to you in your life, ESPECIALLY the things that make you a better person! I read a brilliant article on Nigella Lawson and I’ll end this blog with a quote from her in this interview…..
“I think the only thing you should feel guilty about is not taking pleasure”.
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