At school, I was not that “hot chick” with straight hair, smooth skin & skinny legs. I was pretty much the opposite of my schools “it” crowd. I had curly hair, freckles, a fuller body &_pimply skin. Because of this, I got bullied on a regular base & often was excluded & isolated from social circles.
I didn’t fit in to society’s model of “ideal” or beautiful. I constantly felt odd, unattractive & just not good enough. This led me to develop two eating disorders with mild depression which felt like the darkest time of my life. It is an internal battle of the mind over the body that is so hard to describe. I can remember many nights of crying over something so beautiful (my body) that I just could not see.
Every form of discomfort that one can feel towards ones’ body, I felt it. Sadness, loathing, unease & disgust. There was this constant pressure of needing to look a certain way in order to be liked & maybe loved. Little did I know it was not others I needed love from but myself.
It took me years to work through this internal battle that I believe was life’s way of showing me my gifts and teaching me the lessons that I needed to learn about living life to its fullest. It taught me that we are the only ones that have the power to change our lives and we are the only ones who are responsible for it.
ONE MORE LESSON I HAD TO LEARN….
Then in early 2016 I got another wake up call. It was actually New Years Day, I experienced an anxiety attack. I didn’t know what it was at the time & tried to ignore it. But as time moved on, I started experiencing them more often with more physical side effects that came with them. After doing some research and speaking to others I realised what was happening. ….a message was trying to come through!
I became aware that it WAS NOT a physical challenge but a mental challenge. My soul was trying to tell me something and the only way it could get a message across was by using my body as a channel of communication.
It is hard to describe or even explain anxiety. It’s having a fear inside of you that you can’t control & it starts to take over your life. It forced me to seek professional help & address many traumas, from being bullied as a child to the passing of my dad (nearly 21 years ago) which all contributed to where my body & mind was taking me.
With excessive anxiety, chronic fatigue is often experienced. This is when your body becomes so exhausted and drained that physically it just starts to slow down & stop.
I use to be someone who could function on 5hours of sleep and wake up 4am to train clients…….now I can’t even function properly without 10_hours sleep and 8am is an “early” start for me. Some days I can get out of breath just by walking up the stairs, which is a far cry from my 90 min HIIT training sessions I use to crank out on a daily bases.
I take things probably at a ¼ of the pace these days which in itself has been one of the biggest lessons on my life. Like many people, I use to constantly live in the future (what I needed to achieve, what still had to be done) or I would live in the past (regret, “should haves” or “could haves”) & this chronic fatigue has forced me to STOP & slow down. We are constantly under pressure to “achieve” and perform better than the next person that we have become completely oblivious to the reality of life……which is the NOW!
You know that popular saying “stop and smell the roses”? Well, I have momentarily experienced it but never truly lived it until my anxiety hit. This lesson of my life has sincerely allowed me to start living wholly again because I have become fully conscious of the present moment, NOW.
I am still in the process of healing & I know that it is a life long journey for me which I am positive will bring amazing self discovery. But what I can say, without a shadow of doubt , is that I have reached a point where I can embrace my entire physical being with love, gratitude & joy.
You know what the crazy thing is? The moment I embraced everything I was, in that moment, it was then that all those “problems” I saw on my body, just disappeared. This journey has led me to an amazing gift which I want to share with the world and help other women to start loving the body they are in and start living a life they dream of!
I am sharing all of this with you in the hopes that it will break any stigmas that are normally associated with any mental disorder, whether it is an eating disorder, depression, anxiety or anger. I know there are many other women out there who have gone through similar struggles (….or who are still going through them) and there is no shame in admitting to your struggles and embracing the lessons you need to learn from them. If anything, I hope this gives you courage and strength to change your life!
LIFE & WORK PHILOSOPHY
We live in a world where the pressure of social media to achieve physical perfection is at its highest. We are constantly being bullied for how we look & bombarded with images of what we should look like. There is always that next best thing which is just out of our reach and as a consequence, we live in the hopeful future instead of embracing everything we are now in this present moment.
It became clear to me that I needed to help women to start seeing themselves for who they truly are in this moment……beautiful, complete and imperfectly perfect as they are.
I combine all my skills, knowledge & experience to help women change their lives for the better. I believe the body does not work in isolation but rather in a very delicate and intimate relationship with the mind (head) and soul (heart). All 3 elements are so closely connected that it becomes vital to work with them as a whole in order to achieve complete transformation of health & well being.
It’s my passion & purpose to help transform women’s bodies & lives by developing the ultimate relationship of self love & self respect with their bodies. I do this by taking them on a journey that goes much deeper than what we see on the outside.
Through a Vegan cleansing diet & intimate coaching therapy, I help women achieve Optimal HEALTH & Vitality of the mind, body & soul…..
EDUCATION & EXPERIENCE
Life experiences & lessons are the only true way to enrich one’s life, gain knowledge & expand ones’ skills. This allows us to discover our gifts and share it with the world.
Having said that, I do have some credentials I am proud of and want to share with you. I hope it will give you some reassurance of my capabilities (along with my life lessons) to help you in the process of transforming your body & life…..
- Women’s Fitness & Wellness Specialist (Exercise Training Academy – Sports Science Institute)
- Nutritionist (vegan & vegetarian) (Exercise Training Academy – Sports Science Institute)
- Advanced Personal Trainer -(Exercise Training Academy – Sports Science Institute) 5000+ hours
- Advanced Group Trainer (Exercise Training Academy – Sports Science Institute & Virgin Active) 8000+ hours
- Spinning Instructor (Reebok)
- Eating Disorder & Body Image counsellor (Hope House Training Centre)
- Marie Forleo B-School Business Program 2015
- Mastin Kipp – Wellness Professionals Prosper Program 2017
- WBFF Pro International Bikini Athlete
- 1st placing South Africa 2014
- 5th placing Europe championships 2014
- 6th placing World Championships 2015
- WBFF Pro Judge – South Africa Championships 2016
- Published fitness Model in:
- Fitness Magazine SA, Women’s Health, Muscle Evolution, Green Monday SA, Leaders In Wellness,
- Wellness Warehouse Magazine
- Vegan Athlete & model